i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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