You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize