Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
