She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
