ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I AM VODKA MAN
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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