and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
