If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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