I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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