its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
