As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
