dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
