he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
