JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm determined to sit on that face.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
