Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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