Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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