made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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