alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
