Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
