I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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