everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
