But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
