in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
