I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
