his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
