The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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