Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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