There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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