he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
