I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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