Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
