I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
