On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize