It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
