Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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