It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
