there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
