hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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