i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize