I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
