Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
