ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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