Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
