he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
