i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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