We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize