Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
