i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
