Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
