I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They have beer where we have blood.
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