last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
