I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize