but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
