I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
