Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
