Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
