Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
