i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
