watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
