hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
