drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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